Known jokes in the book
The following puns are known to have come from this book when Ellie announces the book's title in the Pittsburgh chapter.
- "It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery"
- "What did Confederate soldiers eat off of? Civil ware."
- "What did they used to drink with? Cups. Dixie Cups."
- "I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap"
- "A book just fell on my head, I only have my shelf to blame."
- "What is the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages? A stalemate."
Other fun jokes from this book:
- "I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now."
- "I was trying to catch some fog earlier. I mist."
- "3.14% of sailors are pirates."
- "I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me."
- "What does the Mermaid wear to her math class? An algebra."
- "Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field."
- "You know what's not right? Left."
- "People are making an apocalypse jokes like there is no tomorrow."
- "You wanna hear joke about pizza? Nevermind. It was too cheesy."
- "What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath, you idiot!"